I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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