Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
