Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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