four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
