we're chasing vodka with high fives
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
