these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
