I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
