He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
