hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i used baking grease as lip gloss
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Two words: nipple clamps
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