i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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