I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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