Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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