My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
