You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
