Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
