I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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