Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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