no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
