I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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