he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
