Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
