I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
