I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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