Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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