I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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