But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
