...so i touched it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
