I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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