Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
