Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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