I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
