doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
