You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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