A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
