Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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