I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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