ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
