upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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