she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
