I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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