There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
