You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
