yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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