i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
