I didn't shave. On purpose
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
