Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
sarcasm needs its own font
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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