maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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