You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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