Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
