Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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