You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
