One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
