i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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